I've been spending a lot of time these days surrounded by conservatives and a hot topic that often arises is the validity and sanctity of gay marriage. Now because it is the year 2008, many of my conservative colleagues don't care about the sexual orientation of people, but they are opposed to the idea of marriage between two people of the same sex. Just two weeks ago, I even woke up to the sound of a knock on my door. When I stumbled to my front door on that Saturday morning(who knew Saturdays had mornings), with my finest extra large t-shirt and track shorts, I opened the door to find a pretty blond lady. Her smile was bright and she had obviously been awake and alert for some time already. I stood there in all my glory wondering, "My God. Isn't this how pornos start?"

But this girl was not there to ravage my body and make me forget that I lead a life just more exciting than a 67 year old single senile widower but less exciting than a Yorkshire Terrier owned by a middle-class family(I'm just kidding, no need for an intervention, imaginary friends. My life is plenty exciting). No, she was there to ask me to vote "NO" on some proposition to keep marriage under the definition of a union between a man and a woman. Dang. So pretty, yet so conservative.

I've always wondered what the big deal was with gay marriage. Why do people care if gay dudes and ladies are getting married to one another? I know that I have bigger issues in my life than if Xander and Lance want to get hitched. If it's a literal interpretation of the Bible, I recall lines disapproving of homosexuality, but I remember alot more lines promoting love and acceptance of one another despite our differences. Heck, if these people consider homosexuality a flaw, I'm straight and I am lot more messed up than most gay folks. First off, I've kind of got that pug fugly look going. And as demonstrated by most recent race, I'm slow as molasses. And we all know most gay dudes are pretty fit. The only real redeeming factor about me is I'm pretty good at board games and I've beaten the internet.

And in my opinion, civil union or marriage, who cares how we label the union of straight or gay couples. It's not like the "sanctity" of marriage really exists anymore. 50% of marriages end in divorce currently and people can still sanctimoniously claim that straight couple marriage really means that much more than two sexy sexy ladies (think Paz Vega and Kate Beckinsale) in love marrying each other? I'm sorry Mr. Who's on First, but a rose by any another name would smell just as sweet. Call it marriage, call it a union, call it Slartibartfast Vorgons. Love is love, lust is lust, a joke is a joke.

Find a better use of your time.



I'm sure Megan Fox would agree with me.