Hustler is releasing a porno called "Nailin' Palin" at the end of October. Are you gonna buy it or download it off some torrent?
Here's part of the script provided by Hustler
PALIN: Who is it?
GRUFF MALE VOICE: It's JOE, the tanning-bed repairman.
(PALIN unlocks the door and opens it)
PALIN: Hiya! You were supposed to be here two hours ago, doncha know?
JOE: I'm sorry. My snowmobile broke down outside of Matunska. I had to walk the rest of the way.
PALIN: Well, you're in luck. I just baked a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. Why don't you come inside and I'll fix you a plate of 'em?
(JOE obliges. He takes a seat on the couch. PALIN enters the kitchen and returns shortly after with the cookies. She gives them to JOE, but not before looking him up and down.)
PALIN: My oh my. That's quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.
JOE: I have a big hammer.
PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America's diverse tools, big and small. They're what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.
(PALIN takes a seat on the coach beside JOE and starts to undo his belt. He stops her.)
JOE: Let's go take a look at the tanning bed first.
PALIN: Oooh, okay.
(PALIN leads JOE to the tanning salon in the basement. JOE carefully inspects the machine.)
JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.
PALIN: (seductively) You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.
(PALIN pounces on JOE and throws him onto the top of the tanning bed. She quickly rips off his jeans.)
PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!
JOE: I'm bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?
PALIN: It's okay. I already took a morning-after pill.
JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?
PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I'll get back to ya with specifics.
(The two proceed to make furious love in a multitude of positions. PALIN amply demonstrates that she has enough experience.)
PALIN: Fuck me harder! HARDER! Pound me until my head is so empty that I can't even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!
(After 10 minutes, the two finish.)
PALIN: Wow-eee. I haven't had a ride that good since Todd took me for a spin on the back of his Yamaha at the Tesoro Iron Dog.
JOE: That was amazing. What now?
PALIN: I feel so alive! Let's grab my gay friend and go shoot wolves from the safety of a helicopter.
(End scene)
If you think we can find a better solution in a reasonable amount of time, vote up.
if you think the average Joes should get a break on their mortgages from these greedy bankers, vote up.
If you think people should be rewarded based on success, not failure, vote up.
My prayers are with all those that have been impacted by the floods in the Midwest. Hopefully this relevant, but enchanting song by Led Zeppelin can help you through your times.
Pastor John Hagee and Reverend Ron Parsley. Two supporters of Sen. McCain are making Christianity look bad. Christianity is already turning off people by the thousands. Visit any university campus and you'll find the educated in America are losing faith. Throw on top of that prejudice towards other faiths and Ron Parsley's declaration of war against Islam and you've got a religion just waiting to self-destruct. Chrisitianity, purge these hate-mongers before they purge any good left within the faith.
After ruining Countrywide and being a part of this whole subprime mess, Countrywide CEO Angelo R. Mozilo is making $102.84 million!!! Now I know that in school we were taught that you learn something from every failure, but Mr. Mozilo's epic failure netted $100 million+! Last time I failed something, all I got was a F on my test and a disheartening chat with my professor.
Yeah, yeah, company executives need to get paid too. But COME ON! This executive compensation for failure is ridiculous.
