I wish people would stop saying "FML" or F*** My Life. It's really a negative attitude towards your own life and I really hope people aren't that distraught over issues in their life that in the grand scheme of things are minutia.
But here's a list of things that could be true "FML" situations:
Somalian pirates seize your ship. Things look rosy because they assure you they mean no harm. Plus, their AK's are terribly rusted. But then your girlfriend decides to cheat on you with said pirates. Later on, you find out that your girlfriend has been involved with Asad and his entire clan of pirates prior to the takeover. FML.
Libyan terrorists try to kill you because your friend stole plutonium from them, forcing you to retreat in a DeLorean. But little did you know that the DeLorean was capable of time travel. Oh and you almost make whoopee with your mom. FML.
You are on the nation's most popular game show. You are two questions away from winning $1M. The host and the show's producers believe you're cheating because how could a simple kid from the slums possibly do so well in an affair where even the intelligentsia have failed. The producers proceed to tie you up and submit you to a battery of tortures, including one that involves a battery and your nipples. FML....BUT, you end winning and finally reuniting with the love of your life. Yes My Life!
You poop your pants. FML.

Since losing the ability to use my right hand for a few weeks out of circumstance and not choice, I've come to realize how hard the simplest things in life become when you lose one ability. Here's a list of things I've found to be difficult.
1. Typing
2. Writing-especially signing things
3. Wiping
4. Washing-#3 and #4 are sure to cause some smelly issues;)
5. Using a fork
6. Using a spoon
7. Using chopsticks
8. Carrying big things
9. Eating sub sandwiches and burritos over 6 inches long
10.Doing the Macarena properly
Things I can still do easily:
1. Sleeping
2. The Electric Slide
3. Looing like Harold from Harold and Kumar

Check out this excellent costume from Target. It'll make your party into a guaranteed lemon party!

Lemon Party Costume From Target

There are these two people in my office that religiously after their bosses sneeze. But if anyone else sneezes, not one word. If you're going to use the "bless you" phrase, it should be used like any polite phrase like "thank you" or "please" when appropriate. It shouldn't be used selectively to kiss someone's ass. Wouldn't you think of someone differently if they only said "please" or "thank you" to certain people they could benefit from? 

And that's my beef with most people who use "bless you". 

This is how I know that either Yahoo search analytics is broken or there are bunch of people f'ing around.
Today's top searches according to Yahoo
1. Amanda Peet- Amanda Peet? Did I just step into a time machine and land in 2002?
...
7. Phish- Okay, so Yahoo users like to smoke a little pot and not use shampoo for weeks on end.
...
10. Graco Car Seats- So amidst all the economic news, presidential race, and even the Dodgers in the playoffs, car seats still trump these issues.

From today's Yahoo homepage.