I wish people would stop saying "FML" or F*** My Life. It's really a negative attitude towards your own life and I really hope people aren't that distraught over issues in their life that in the grand scheme of things are minutia.
But here's a list of things that could be true "FML" situations:
Somalian pirates seize your ship. Things look rosy because they assure you they mean no harm. Plus, their AK's are terribly rusted. But then your girlfriend decides to cheat on you with said pirates. Later on, you find out that your girlfriend has been involved with Asad and his entire clan of pirates prior to the takeover. FML.
Libyan terrorists try to kill you because your friend stole plutonium from them, forcing you to retreat in a DeLorean. But little did you know that the DeLorean was capable of time travel. Oh and you almost make whoopee with your mom. FML.
You are on the nation's most popular game show. You are two questions away from winning $1M. The host and the show's producers believe you're cheating because how could a simple kid from the slums possibly do so well in an affair where even the intelligentsia have failed. The producers proceed to tie you up and submit you to a battery of tortures, including one that involves a battery and your nipples. FML....BUT, you end winning and finally reuniting with the love of your life. Yes My Life!
You poop your pants. FML.

How has the subprime mortgage meltdown affected people who live in glass houses?
Was Right Said Fred indeed too sexy for his shirt?
Is Lil' Wayne still makin' it rain on 'dem hoes despite economic woes?
"Sex on Fire" sounds unnecessarily painful and extremely dangerous.
I don't care how much fruit you're eating, Pac-Man. The amount of pills you take is unhealthy.
Are all Twilight fans idiots?

To all of you wiser than me, how does one find a business partner. I have blueprinted a product and a business and I am looking for an intelligent and good-natured tech-expert(engineering-wise) to be the ying to my yang.

Now I've looked through all my friends and none of them seem to fit the bill or are interested at this point. Where do I look now? Please help me internet friends! You're my only hope;)

Since losing the ability to use my right hand for a few weeks out of circumstance and not choice, I've come to realize how hard the simplest things in life become when you lose one ability. Here's a list of things I've found to be difficult.
1. Typing
2. Writing-especially signing things
3. Wiping
4. Washing-#3 and #4 are sure to cause some smelly issues;)
5. Using a fork
6. Using a spoon
7. Using chopsticks
8. Carrying big things
9. Eating sub sandwiches and burritos over 6 inches long
10.Doing the Macarena properly
Things I can still do easily:
1. Sleeping
2. The Electric Slide
3. Looing like Harold from Harold and Kumar

There must be at least one high school kid with good intentions but bad word choice that blurted out "Prop 8 is gay!"
Before the homecoming game, some Prop 8 supporters were picketing in front of USC. With them were several children likely under the age of 7. I don't think you should be allowed to picket if your primary concerns in life are "where should I hide this booger" and "yes! Dora's on! Now where did I hide that booger?"
People still think Obama is a socialist. They also think he's Muslim. The only thing that the McCain camp seems to have gotten right is that he's black.
The rich like McCain. The super-rich like Obama. But then the evil super-rich(Rupert Murdoch) like McCain.
So who do you side with? The guy who owns 2 Hyundai-Saab dealerships and a car wash in Richmond or Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Eric Schmidt, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffett.
Ben & Jerry's is offering a free scoop to everyone who votes tomorrow. Time to pull out the old fake mustache, top hat, and monocle collection.
Do you find people who use ampersands regularly in normal writing to be obnoxious? Would you find it more obnoxious if they used in normal conversation? ;)

Can you believe she's a stand-up comedian?!